The last few summers at my parent’s house I remember there being a lot of woodland creatures. Huge increase in the chipmunk population. There are none this side, no squirrels either. However, once a week or so I do see a meerkat running around. I think that Animal Planet is fond of them and the majority of people most likely think they are cute, but I’m not so sure and sense they are a bit devious. I’ve seen them chase the cat at my work and I’m pretty sure they have everything to do with the loss of pigeon eggs at Dinah’s house. Circle of life. Dinah says that I should love all of God’s creatures. “Sorry, my sweet”, she says as she delicately places the horse-sized ant outside the door.

Here’s a sympathy picture for our pigeons. Dinah likes to feed them our left over rice and for that they stick around, despite the threat of the meerkat.

Sunday is eating day.

Actually, every day is eating day, but Sunday meals are my favorite. Coming home from church around 9:30 the kettle immediately goes on for our second cup of tea or coffee. We also set the rice on the stove before leaving to go pick up a bag of mixed vegetables at the tuck shop down the road. The bag of veggies is brilliant, sold only on the weekends, and includes carrots, pumpkin, cabbage, potatoes, and onions for a decent price. When Dinah and I get home we spend time in the kitchen chopping and peeling while sipping on our tea and chatting about the week behind us and the week to come. Dinah also uses this time to translate for me what was said in church. Each food item goes into its own pot and takes its turn on one of two burners. On top of all that, Dinah always fries chicken and we make a cold lettuce or tomato salad.

Sunday cooking is a wonderful time that Dinah and I share together. Each Sunday she laughs and says, “three hours to cook, 10 minutes to eat”. It is without a doubt the best food I’ve had in Kimberley and is a meal I’ll have to continue once home.

Here is a picture of the table last week…a meal shared between two.

Second Retreat

At the end of February, I was able to get together with the others volunteers again. I first met up with some of my girl friends in Pretoria, helping out at a crèche one day, exploring the city and hanging out on the lawns in front of the Union Buildings. Then we traveled to Soweto to meet up with the other girls in MUD4. We spent a lot of time in Joburg, hanging out with new friends, going on the SAB (South African Brewery) tour and walking around some beautiful markets. All of us girls then traveled together to Pietermaritzburg and went ziplining before the boys arrived to start our second retreat. During the retreat we went rafting, went to the Botanical Gardens in PMB, tried bush golfing (miniature golf literally in the bush) and played some kickball. This was also a time in which we were able to sit together and have amazing conversation about the past few months and helpful discussions about the time ahead and the departure date that is quickly sneaking up. On the Sunday before leaving we had the opportunity to attend church at LTI (Lutheran Theological Institute) for the second time, greet new and old friends and hear Brian preach about being a servant-leader.

These times we have together as a group are rare and it has been amazing to see how the last six months have informed and formed us. The next time we’re all together will be our last week in South Africa. Hard to believe.

Here’s me ziplining.

The Rainbow Nation

During the last six months in South Africa I have had the privilege to travel in seven different provinces, surrounded by locals in buses and kombis. Many times, in my experience, the travel from place to place is one of the most exciting parts of visiting others. What I have seen from taxi and bus windows are life-giving images that I will forever remember. In fact, these moments on the road are ones in which I have felt closest to God while seeing the wonders of South Africa. I keep coming back to the thought that South Africa’s landscape is as diverse as it’s people. As the dry, flat landscape of Kimberley becomes lush hills or an urban city, the language changes, the culture differs, music, food and dance transform. Everyday I am amazed by the diverse colors, sounds, shapes and tastes that create this singular country, South Africa. People are so unique in this country that I have trouble picturing what a South African would look like, what he would sound like, or what his struggles and joys may be. Labeled as the Rainbow Nation, South Africans remain who they are and come together to make something really, truly great.

Archbishop Desmond Tutu, whom we were able to hear speak at the COP 17 rallies in Durban last November, speaks about African people by saying, “In African language we say ‘a person is a person though other persons.’ I would not know how to be a human being at all except I learned this from other human beings. We are made for a delicate network of relationships, of interdependence. We are meant to complement each other. All kinds of things go terribly wrong when we break that fundamental law of our being. Not even the most powerful nation can be completely self-sufficient.”

At home in the States and here in my community in SA, I see things go terribly wrong when we as humans fail to work together. Many social injustices that I see and feel happen because we refuse to take responsibly for what we do and more importantly, we refuse to take responsibly for others. For example, I question everyday about who’s responsible for the street kids I hang out and work with. Who’s responsible for these human beings?

‘I am because we are’ vs. ‘each man for his own’

In four months I will be leaving this country and a lot of worry and grief comes with thinking about that departure. One worry is that in leaving I may lose the deep connection I have with my community and I am concerned about how I may find a way to continue to communicate with the youth I hang out with each day who do not even have a mailing address. In these uncertainties, Tutu’s statement about the importance of our interdependence gives me hope that these ‘networks of relationships’ can certainly span across oceans. Leaving this amazing, colorful, diverse country, which has taught me about the world and myself and challenged my views and beliefs, should not bring me grief, but rather delight in the opportunity to go home an ambassador for my South African family and the children I serve. My community in South Africa has indeed taken responsibility for me, loved me and taken me in. They have upheld the meaning of Ubuntu and what Tutu explained as a ‘fundamental law of our being’. I am because we are. “A person is a person though other persons”.

Starting Something New

Many YAGM alumni that I spoke to before coming to South Africa shared the journey that lead them to find the right fit in their volunteering. Some said that they only found their volunteering placement half way through the year. One of the alum even said that they finally felt like they found a match one month before coming home. I have actually felt very lucky in finding Thusong Children’s Center within my first weeks in Kimberley. Each month I feel more connected and attached to that place. However, just recently in this New Year I have been lucky enough to walk through the doors of a home for disabled children, which after two weeks I can say will be a permanent place of volunteering, along with Thusong, for the next five months.

Feeling as if I needed to do more with my time, I asked my host mother to walk with me to a home that I pass each day while taking kombis into town. From the taxi I would see 30 kids in wheelchairs sitting under a tree in the late morning and always wondered about them and the home. Dinah and I walked in and after a quick tour and a cup of tea the Matron told me that they would be happy to have me help out. We decided on twice a week helping with breakfast through lunch. Later that day after coming home and feeling pretty good about this new place, I received a text from our country coordinator, Kristen, telling us that now is a great time to reach out if we felt like seeing and learning more. I smiled at the text, thinking that she was absolutely right.

I was pretty nervous on my first day at Helen Bishop. Within three minutes of being there I was spoon-feeding a 20 year old who is paralyzed and has been in a wheelchair his whole life due to Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. I spent the rest of the day in the Physiotherapy room helping to place children in and out of standing braces and playing catch with a little boy who kept saying “scopey ball”. Later I found out that meant ‘kick ball’- oops.

Spending the morning talking with the staff and therapists they eventually learned that I hope to pursue Social Work upon my return home. Five minutes later they had a plan for me to meet the Social Worker working along Helen Bishop. A week later I was driving with her to the next town to pick up a mother and child so that the little girl could be fitted for a wheelchair. During our drive I was able to ask her my questions and learn a lot about her experiences as a Social Worker, the types of families and individuals she has had to deal with and how South Africa’s social welfare relates to Americas. I hope to soon make plans to accompany her as she makes home visits and court dates in Kimberley.

So, all that happened two weeks (only four days volunteering) after walking through the doors hoping to maybe get a volunteer position at Helen Bishop. Over and over YAGM alum and coordinators have told us that great things happen the more you explore and get to know community members. It is absolutely true in my case. I was unsure about starting something new, but it turned out to be a decision that will become a large part of my experience in the second half of MUD. Attachments to the residents of Helen Bishop are already there, as well as a fondness and respect for the workers who do so much for these individuals. Knowing that there is always something more to be a part of is really exciting and I can’t explain how happy I am to have decided to make that step towards something new.

A Prayer to the God of All Children

Before leaving for our respected countries, all of the YAGMs received a booklet full of readings, reflections and poems. The cover of the booklet says that these are to accompany us during our journey. Over the last few months in South Africa I have gone back to this booklet to re-read it’s contents. Each time I do this I find that the words written mean something new to me, particularly this one writing titled “A Prayer to the God of All Children” by Marian Wright Edelman. I hope to use this poem to share some of the experiences I have had in South Africa, express many of my struggles and heartaches, and tell why this prayer has helped to accompany me through out my journey.

O God of children of Afghanistan, Pakistan, and India

Of Israel, Iraq, and Iran, Jerusalem, and Jericho

Of South and North Korea, Burundi, and Rwanda

Of South Africa, South Carolina, San Francisco, and San Antonio

Help us to love and respect and act now to protect them all.

Being a YAGM is so much more than what is going on around and in me in South Africa. Because of this program I have close friends all through out the world. Here in South Africa, in Mexico, Uruguay, Argentina, the United Kingdom, Jerusalem/West Bank and in Malaysia. These people are my friends and for the passed four months have continued to share with the others and myself their journey and what their part of the world has to say. It is an amazing thing to feel so connected to places, some that I have not even been to. I have been given awareness and an appreciation for these parts of the world. We are all children of God, in all the YAGM placement sites, all the areas mentioned in Edelman’s prayer and in every nation of this world.

O God of black and brown and white and albino children

And all those mixed together

Of children who speak English and Russian and Hmong and Spanish and

Chinese and Hebrew and Arabic and languages our ears cannot discern

Help us to love and respect and act now to protect them all.

Coming to live in South Africa I knew that I would gain an opportunity to learn more about Apartheid. What I didn’t realize was that the history of Apartheid and it’s continuing effects would be a part of my daily life. The area that my house is located in Kimberley was a neighborhood for colored people before 1994. Before that time, whites, coloreds and blacks all had their ‘designated’ areas. Though people are now legally able to reside in any neighborhood the racial segregation still exists due to affordability. I see and hear racism everyday. I see how the effects of Apartheid not only separate people into different neighborhoods, but also create a sense of being different, being better than one another, being separate. Racism exists everywhere but for me I am continuing to learn how viewpoints and beliefs are dictated by South Africa’s very recent history of Apartheid. I am seeing how the different generations (the grandparents, parents, teenagers, children) are changing, or not changing, in this struggle. I am learning why things are the way they are and how the younger generations plan to move forward in the future.

Foreign language has never been my forte. Never. I told the other MUD4’s here in South Africa that one of my hopes would be to learn the language spoken in Kimberley, which is Afrikaans. I haven’t got very far and probably won’t leave here with a strong sense for the language. Lucky for me a high percentage of people I come across speak English and quickly switch from Afrikaans the moment I say, “I’m sorry, I only speak English”. The response 90% of the time is, “You ONLY speak English?” For Americans that’s sort of a silly question. Of course I only speak English. Here in South Africa, however, there are 11 official national languages and in my experience everyone I meet speaks AT LEAST 2. Usually they speak between 5 and 6. It is something I admire and envy.

This section of Edelman’s prayer reminds me that God receives His children in every color, in every shape and form. God hears His children regardless of the language spoken. God hears me even though I ONLY speak English and He hears each of the 11 languages of South Africa the same.

O God of the child prodigy and the child prostitute,

Of the child of rapture and the child of rape

Of run or thrown away children who struggle every day

Without parent or place or friend or future

Help us to love and respect and act now to protect them all.

Since working at a children’s home in Kimberley I have met kids ages 8-18 with various backgrounds. The reason they become residents of Thusong vary for different reasons. Some of the kids are there because they are either orphaned or abandoned or have run away from home. Some have been found on the streets and taken to live at Thusong. Some of these children come from homes that simply cannot support them, or have been taken out because the home is stricken with drugs and alcohol. Most of the children have family in Kimberley but chose rather to live at Thusong themselves or are forced to stay there because their parents have decided they would rather have their kids stay at the children’s center than at home with them.

The time I have spent working with these kids has been some of the best and hardest times I’ve had in Kimberley. It can be difficult not to let the reality of these children’s lives weigh heavy on my shoulders. I see them every day and am constantly reminded of the hardships they struggle with each and everyday. At the same time, once you become friends with these individuals you begin to see them for who they are; amazing, talented, funny and kind, rather that seeing them as the ‘street children’ that they are labeled as.

These lines in Edelman’s prayer remind me that no matter where a child comes from, regardless if they have been thrown away or forgotten by people in the past, it will not prevent me from being able to love and respect for who they are.

O God of children who can walk and talk and hear

And see and sing and dance and jump and play and

Of children who wish they could but can’t

Of children who are loved and unloved, wanted and unwanted

Help us to love and respect and act now to protect them all.

Some of my time in Kimberley has been spent in a school for children with disabilities. The children I have spent most of my time with are deaf. Since they are unable to hear, our communication sometimes becomes a challenge considering the only sign language I know is what I have quickly picked up from watching them and their teachers. When trying to communicate something with one of the kids or when they are trying to tell me something we eventually hit this wall where we realize we’re just not getting each other. When this happens I sometimes think, “Man, if only they could hear my voice”. I imagine they are thinking something similar, “Man, why can’t this girl read my signs?” I wish I could read their signs and I imagine they wish they could hear my voice.

The most beautiful thing I have seen and realized in these classrooms is that the students, deaf, blind and physically challenged, do the exact same things I did when I was in the 1^st grade. They read and they add and subtract. They sing, dance and play. Sometimes it just looks a little bit different. Singing is singing whether it is a melody that comes from your voice or if it is a movement that comes from flowing arm movements that sign “Old McDonald”.

O God of beggar, beaten, abused, neglected, homeless,

AIDS-, drug-, violence-, and hunger-ravaged children,

Of children who are emotionally and physically and mentally fragile, and

Of children who rebel and ridicule, torment and taunt

Help us to love and respect and act now to protect them all.

HIV/AIDS is a serious reality all through out the world. However, since moving to South Africa it is an issue that has more commonly been on my mind. 30.2%. That is the percentage of individuals infected with HIV/AIDS in South Africa as of 2010. The percentage in the Northern Cape where I live is 18.4%. That’s about 1 out of every 5 people I meet.

Something that I have been much more aware of is the percentage of people not only infected, but affected. I work with many children at Thusong Children’s Center who are there because they have been orphaned due to HIV/AIDS. I see how they have been affected.

It is a terrible reality but what’s also terrible are the reactions I see concerning HIV/AIDS due to myths and stereotypes. I have been apart of conversations where I hear people admit that they never use public restrooms because of a fear of HIV/AIDS transmission and others who say they are also careful who they share silverware and cups with. These are a few examples of ways HIV/AIDS is NOT transmitted. I believe that along with condom use and sex education the world needs to be educated on what is and isn’t true about individuals infected with HIV/AIDS.

O God of children of destiny and of despair, of war and of peace,

Of disfigured, diseased, and dying children,

Of children without hope and of children with hope to spare and to share

Help us to love and respect and act now to protect them all.

This line by Edelman, “spare and to share”, says a lot to me. Regardless of who we are, we all have something to spare and share. That may just be a smile. This reminds me of a phrase that has become important to my experience in MUD and YAGM, ‘Live simply so others may simply live’.

God has his hands on all of us whether we are old, young, black, white, colored, homeless, without parents, infected or affected with illness, deaf, blind, able. I know this because I see and feel it everyday. May God continue to help us to love, respect and act.

Christmas in the Summer

The following reflection is kind of a story that’s been told a lot- “The true meaning of Christmas”. I don’t mean to write this with the impression that it’s the first time this is occurring to me or that what I’m about to say is this whole new idea that no one has ever thought of. It’s just that experiencing this holiday season in a new setting and a different culture has allowed me to better grasp the concept of Christmas personally and I’d like to share how.

I thought that I would miss a white Christmas, outdoor Christmas lights, Advent services and familiar English hymns at MPLC, the tree, opening up the Christmas cards as they came, my Mom’s cooking, sitting around in the living room with my family while opening stockings and presents. I thought I’d miss all this, and I did.

Kimberley, South Africa is hot. It’s hot here at Christmas time. There are few Christmas decorations, hymns in Afrikaans, different Christmas meals, different traditions. Many things that are new and different. These were the things running through my mind before Christmas morning. Things that made me think that Christmas here is so different. However, on Christmas morning I was sitting there in church while embracing the many things that were familiar- a packed sanctuary, recognizable melodies, memorized Bible readings, and lots of straight up contentment because of the holiday season. It started to feel like Christmas. Christmas for me this year wasn’t the presents or the tree, and definitely not the snow. Christmas this year were those familiar hymns, the epic verses from the Gospels, the celebration of Christ’s birth, and that silly feeling when you’re just, you know, happy. Those things are present no matter where you are on Christmas. Who can take that away?

While watching the Grinch as he stole Christmas as a kid I was under the impression that without the trees, lights, and presents Christmas wouldn’t be Christmas. But none of this stuff was present on that very first Christmas. No glitter, glam or expensive presents. No tree, lights, reindeer or snow. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not one to think that the non-religious symbols of Christmas (Santa, toys, Will Ferrell as Buddy the Elf) are anything bad. I mean, I still remember the exact details of the conversation that lead to me learning the [SPOILER ALERT] not so true existence of Santa…and the tears that followed. Though I am growing up, these symbols still remind me of the excitement of Christmas and they certainly put me in a good mood, however, I’m learning the importance of recognizing the distinction between these symbols and the real intention of our Christmas celebration. Jesus.

What happened in Bethlehem on Christmas day is like this earth-shattering event that has shaped my entire life. It is my faith and my belief, what helps me through difficult times and what is a part of me as I rejoice in triumphs and success. It is so much more than one day out of the year. Santa goes back to the North Pole and we forget about him for another 11 months, but that ‘little baby Jesus’ (another Will Ferrell reference?) is a year round celebration.

So next year when I’m home will I get rid of the tree, lights and 23 years worth of collected ornaments? No. The joy of giving presents, the excitement of opening them up and the desire for a white Christmas will remain. But there will be an understanding that if these things were lessened or completely taken away Christmas would continue to be complete and we would still be able to embrace all of it’s importance.

8 months ago at the YAGM DIP event I spoke to the others about an accompaniment moment I had while at Shepard’s Field in Israel. The group I was with crossed paths with another tour group from China. Somehow we ended up singing about 9 rounds of Silent Night. A few times in English and a few in Chinese. Who would have thought that 10 months from that moment in Israel I would be in South Africa singing the same song in Afrikaans.

Stille nag, Heilige nag! Alles rus; eensaam wag slegs Maria, geseende vrou, wat vol teerheid haar Kindjie aanskou. Slaap in hemelse rus, slaap in hemelse rus.

I hope that you all had an amazing Christmas. I was thinking about you all. I pray that aside from the presents and Christmas lights you were able to experience that true joy that can only be found through the wonderful gift of Christ’s birth.

…and Wisconsin didn’t have a white Christmas either, which makes me feel a little bit better.